Campaign of Fun Sucking (COFS)

Every day, billions of people suffer from outbreaks of humor. Its symptoms include laughing, sneezing, wheezing, grunting, hooting, moaning, mooning, eye-rolling, tongue-extrusion, coughing, barking, howling, chuckling, choking, croaking, "joking", mewling, whining, writhing and spasmodic lip motion, visceral toning and enhanced organ function, rolling of the eyes, pursing of the lips, walking "normally", significant eye contact, and many other symptoms of near-vitality and health that are a chronic drag on our zombie way of life. There is presently no cure, but there is one effective treatment: sucking the "fun" out of "funny". We are filled with the milk of human kindess, and everyone must take a sip, in some weird reversal of the premise... but one digresses.