Cutters, Eating Disorders, And all the rest of it

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Rough 2 nights

over the past two nights I have cut 3 times and purged once. Sometimes I just lose control and fall back on old habits....sometimes I need to gain control and I fall back on old habits. The outcome is exactly the same. I am a hidden person inside an exterior that is trying so hard to do the right thing. I am on my spiritual journey.....learning about ego, id, past, present, meditation, trance, controlling the breath.....and I am moving forward in my journey with conviction and commitment. But my internal struggles are still there and I am fighting them day by day. Did really well for a while...just waiting for this little episode to pass and then its back on my spiritual horse toward a better me. Inside and out.

  • July 2013