I don't need help, I need to vent.
Basically on a day to day basis, I've been dreaming.. yes DREAMING. Wishing for my life to be over. I dream of different ways i could and would want to die. As you can see, the awaited day has not come yet. No, most would think, "Oh why would you want to die? Don't think of something dark like that!" It's quite the opposite. Death in my current state of mine (which is sober, clear, and able to operate heavy machinery) sounds and seems like an oasis. A way out. I'm 17, turning 18 in a couple of months, and I think i've figured out the meaning of life. Death. I'm so thankful for this site, this way my parents won't bitch at me and neither will my "friends" Whether it be Hell, the middle of nowhere, or the chance i will be reborn into the new world, I just want my current life status to end. Don't worry, i won't. but that's what i want... for Christmas. BEST GIFT EVER. Don't get me wrong, i am a teen, but i'm not one that would harm others (unless provoked) or have ominous intents towards my friends and or family, just to myself. In fact, one of the reasons that i can't just end my life is because of the effects it'll have on my family, and friends. It's just one of my "fantasies" that seem too good to be able to happen. That is, to die right now, but my family and friends aren't hurt or devastated by the event..
- November 2013