Cheating

000-0723-233

I cheated on my fiance a year ago. Never told anyone but I had to get it off my chest.

It's a bit complicated, but basically we tried doing a swinging/open relationship thing, which was a lot of fun for me but was killing him. So we agreed to call it off. I missed the extra attention and had a really hard time adjusting to it. So a little later I went to a big party at a friend's house. I wound up going pretty far with...two guys I knew and had fooled around with before. Not quite sex but everything else. I was completely drunk (as were they), though unfortunately not drunk enough to forget it. This was over a year ago and I've never told him. I tell myself that it's because I know he would stay with me and I don't want to hurt him, but really it's because I could never stand to see him look at me differently. It's breaking my heart just writing this. We are getting married in less than a month... I'm not looking for any advice here. It's just that I haven't told my best friend, haven't even written it in a diary. I needed to get it down. And now I think I've just broken myself.

  • April 2013